My 2017 Resolution - Do Less & Listen More!
My daughter called me from an upstairs bedroom the other day. "Dad, can you help me hang these three pictures on the wall?" Without thinking, I trundled upstairs and began to arrange the required tools. This, by the way, is about the extent of my expertise when it comes to handyman work...that and correctly replacing light bulbs - sometimes.
Before I began, I had a pang of guilt. "Why was I doing this and not my daughter?" So I asked her. "Because I suck at hanging pictures" she replied, "I can never get them spaced right or hung the right way." That's exactly when I should have stopped and turned the job over to her to complete. Instead, I mumbled something under my breath and proceeded to hang her pictures for her. "Hadn't she just finished painting her whole room by herself, with no help at all from me?" I rationalized. The process however, taught her nothing! I was actually doing her a disservice by hanging those pictures!
There's a new book out by J. Keith Murnighan entitled "Do Nothing". It's a book on leadership that quite correctly admonishes those in executive positions for micromanaging. He uses the metaphor of a vacuum early in the book to describe the process by which work will get done. "In Physics, a vacuum is particularly fragile: to survive, it must be contained. If not, other elements will be drawn to it and will fill up the space. Effective teams work the same way."
I struggle with learning that lesson, particularly so in my role as advisor. I must admit that it doesn't come naturally. My predisposition is to dive in and try to solve. I can think of nothing more exhilarating than to be given a particularly gnarly issue to chew on and spit out potential solutions. But who am I really helping in that circumstance? Of course the answer is me. The real challenge of leadership is to frame the issue or challenge and get out of the way. Great leaders ask open-ended questions and then listen.
My brother (who has a great sense of humour) sent me over the following quote from Aristotle. He opened the email with these words. "I thought I'd send you over a copy of the quote we spoke of, just in case you weren't listening." Here's the quote:
"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you thought you would rather be talking."
The biggest challenge I have as an advisor is to help business owners and senior executives delegate. They consistently dive back "into" the business, figuratively pushing their teams out of the way. Teams and employees learn quickly. Pretty soon you've got people sitting on their hands, waiting for the stone tablets from on high. And what do you think I get as questions from these leaders? Questions like, "Why do I end up having to do the work? Why can't they dive in without me?" There's really only one answer. "Because you taught them!"